You know I tried to convince myself I don’t need to write this post … three times I pressed post and then closed the window.
But I guess it’s better to let the words out there than inside my already cluttered mind.
I had a strange thought today. I was yet again reminded of you as I looked at a strange face in the public. For a second my heart does skip a beat but then it comes back to normal as always obviously.
And this is when I asked myself why do I bother myself by seeking your face in a crowd. What joy would that silhouette bring me? when it has been the cause of a terrible heartache for all these years.
and then it sort of hit me. whatever happened, your face did brought calm to me. it was a sort of comfort I never felt before. it terrified me and provided me solace. i would want to look at it and turn away at the same time. the best i can describe the feeling is to trying to look at the sea, you wish to go near it not realizing it will cause grave danger.
ugh. moronic thoughts.