Priorities at 27

Having recently turned 27 and staying single has be to a milestone that no other girl in my family has ever reached. The defending champion was my mom who was wed to my father at 26. This record of mine has been thrown at my face ever since I turned 23. My mother’s record was not mentioned these 3 years because my family has rightly assumed I sucked at math so why would I spend time deducing at what age she got married. (little did they know I posses a copy of her Nikah Nama).

However, a milestone/record that no one else speaks frequently about is also related to my mother and us more specifically my father who left my mother (and his twin kids) a year later to spend time with his mother who lived in another country. And it’s been 27 years to this incident as well but somehow this phenomenon is natural than a girl staying single at 27.

I love Pakistani culture. Staying single at 27 is frowned upon but husbands who ditch their wives (and twin children!) a year after their marriage is A-OKAY.

Anyway why do I mention this godforsaken topic today of all days because tomorrow I have my Advanced Macroeconomics II midterm.. and also a family meeting has been called right after that.. to discuss my life.. future..naseeb or whatever shit elders call it these days.

Just when my family has lost hope that there’s no one going to find me marriage worthy what with me turning 27 (gasp!) a proposal came. And just when they thought it would be someone that usually befits the last resort proposal i.e. bald guy ageing, divorced etc. etc (and I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST AGING BALD DIVORCED MEN BTW) it turned out to be quite the opposite.

The guy is an American Muslim., quite handsome and young. No shit?! I know, right. Whudda thought at 27  this not-at-all-pretty-crooked-teeth-bushy-hair-slightly-getting-bald-face-with-pimples-yup-even-at-27-they-havent-left-me-girl/woman* would land such a proposal.

But she did.

I am going to cut the whole story short to give you a summary of what I expect tomorrow to happen:

-The guy’s family said yes to this not-at-all-pretty-crooked-teeth-bushy-hair-slightly-getting-bald-face-with-pimples-yup-even-at-27-they-havent-left-me-girl/woman and wish to take things further so my family needs my permission (alas they do because they are staunch Muslims and unfortunately for them Allah does not command forced marriages)

OR

-The guy’s family said no to this not-at-all-pretty-crooked-teeth-bushy-hair-slightly-getting-bald-face-with-pimples-yup-even-at-27-they-havent-left-me-girl/woman which wouldnt come as a shock to anyone because hello I am 27 forget that i am batshit ugly.

AND

-I am most likely to fail my Advanced Macro mid term because here I am unable to concentrate because of the meeting above and I need to vent.

However, while I can do something for the last part, i have absolutely no shitty clue how to handle the scenario 1 and 2.

Unfortunately for me, I have NO ONE who understands me and the story I am trapped in. Now I get why I love to escape in fiction.. all the time. Reality sucks.

 

So I had to take it all out. Because what better way to alleviate stress than put it to words.

And to escape these panic attacks I keep telling myself: It will be over in 24 HOURS. IT WILL BE OVER IN 24 HOURS. THAT IS IT. BREATH. BREATH. BREATH.

 

*these are exact words of my beloved cousin sister/khala who have not spend a day these 27 years not reminding what a abomination of an existence I am on the face of this earth and a cause of huge embarrassment and disappointment for the entire clan.

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16 thoughts on “Priorities at 27

  1. Sounds to me like you’re doing the best thing someone can do, who is stuck in a controlling-family situation. You are getting an education. When that is finished, you can get off on your own and let your family suck a lemon. Then you can better decided when you will get married, and who to. If you even decide to get married.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My best may never be enough unfortunately living in a place where it would be considered better to commit suicide than live on your own. I don’t think even I have it in me to bring such “shame” to them. I do actually love these people though it’s very hard to like them.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey now , I’m paki too and I completely understand the stress and the heavy decisions you might have to make in order to make people happy , (kudos pakistani culture for putting people before themseleves) but like keep it chill , don’t fret , do some yoga , stretch , go out and never come back

    P.S : Jokes aside , get some alone time with him to chit chat about what you expect from the relationship (if it is to happen) and reach some kind of compromise. More like a business deal than love , but practicality is ingrained so it’s a good opportunity

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lets hope the proposal came because he reads your blog and likes your spirit. I am not familiar with your culture, would your family accept the response of “Ill look into it when finals are over?” Who you marry is very important. You have time to do your homework. Menopause doesn’t hit until about 50 ;).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know right. No the proposal came because he wants a nice cultural girl and apparently I am it. Haha. If only they knew how I am quite the opposite of what they think I am..
      You’re right.. it’s very important which is why I dont want to rush. but oh well. let’s see.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. My cousin just married a fantastic woman. She said that he invited her to a party where a lot of his former girlfriends were present. 65 of them! She counted. In our culture we have a saying “you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince”. The expression is based on a children’s story where an evil witch turned a prince into a frog. When a princess kissed him, he returned back into a prince. I understand that kissing is for after the wedding in many cultures. Perhaps replace the word “kiss” with “interview”? Do take your time and interview many.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re right. but in our culture there’s a strong pressure from the close family to seal the deal and if you appear to be unaccommodating, you’re labelled a stuck up and ungrateful. I respect my family a lot, it’s just its very hard at times to make them see common sense.

      Like

  5. Sounds tricky. I takes time to get to know someone well enough to have a clue. I hope you have really good spies and a good line of communication with your mom. You make her sound like a wonderful and amazing woman.

    Liked by 1 person

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