Having recently turned 27 and staying single has be to a milestone that no other girl in my family has ever reached. The defending champion was my mom who was wed to my father at 26. This record of mine has been thrown at my face ever since I turned 23. My mother’s record was not mentioned these 3 years because my family has rightly assumed I sucked at math so why would I spend time deducing at what age she got married. (little did they know I posses a copy of her Nikah Nama).
However, a milestone/record that no one else speaks frequently about is also related to my mother and us more specifically my father who left my mother (and his twin kids) a year later to spend time with his mother who lived in another country. And it’s been 27 years to this incident as well but somehow this phenomenon is natural than a girl staying single at 27.
I love Pakistani culture. Staying single at 27 is frowned upon but husbands who ditch their wives (and twin children!) a year after their marriage is A-OKAY.
Anyway why do I mention this godforsaken topic today of all days because tomorrow I have my Advanced Macroeconomics II midterm.. and also a family meeting has been called right after that.. to discuss my life.. future..naseeb or whatever shit elders call it these days.
Just when my family has lost hope that there’s no one going to find me marriage worthy what with me turning 27 (gasp!) a proposal came. And just when they thought it would be someone that usually befits the last resort proposal i.e. bald guy ageing, divorced etc. etc (and I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST AGING BALD DIVORCED MEN BTW) it turned out to be quite the opposite.
The guy is an American Muslim., quite handsome and young. No shit?! I know, right. Whudda thought at 27 this not-at-all-pretty-crooked-teeth-bushy-hair-slightly-getting-bald-face-with-pimples-yup-even-at-27-they-havent-left-me-girl/woman* would land such a proposal.
But she did.
I am going to cut the whole story short to give you a summary of what I expect tomorrow to happen:
-The guy’s family said yes to this not-at-all-pretty-crooked-teeth-bushy-hair-slightly-getting-bald-face-with-pimples-yup-even-at-27-they-havent-left-me-girl/woman and wish to take things further so my family needs my permission (alas they do because they are staunch Muslims and unfortunately for them Allah does not command forced marriages)
-The guy’s family said no to this not-at-all-pretty-crooked-teeth-bushy-hair-slightly-getting-bald-face-with-pimples-yup-even-at-27-they-havent-left-me-girl/woman which wouldnt come as a shock to anyone because hello I am 27 forget that i am batshit ugly.
-I am most likely to fail my Advanced Macro mid term because here I am unable to concentrate because of the meeting above and I need to vent.
However, while I can do something for the last part, i have absolutely no shitty clue how to handle the scenario 1 and 2.
Unfortunately for me, I have NO ONE who understands me and the story I am trapped in. Now I get why I love to escape in fiction.. all the time. Reality sucks.
So I had to take it all out. Because what better way to alleviate stress than put it to words.
And to escape these panic attacks I keep telling myself: It will be over in 24 HOURS. IT WILL BE OVER IN 24 HOURS. THAT IS IT. BREATH. BREATH. BREATH.
*these are exact words of my beloved cousin sister/khala who have not spend a day these 27 years not reminding what a abomination of an existence I am on the face of this earth and a cause of huge embarrassment and disappointment for the entire clan.