One year can change a lot.
This past year was an eye opener. Met a friend yesterday. We had only ever stayed in touch once a year. And I think the kind of person I am, this sort of commitment works well.
So exactly a year ago when we met she was full of life. Brimming with joy having been freshly engaged. It was all she would talk about: how amazing the guy was, how amazing the family was, how he takes care of everything, adores her the most in the world.
A year was all it took to change that.
Yesterday she revealed that her relationship has ended. It was all a farce. The family turned out to be extremely weird and it was in her best interest that they ended things.
I can’t help but recall the words she said to me “I’m back to square one. It’s like none of that ever happened. I have to rebuild from scratch. My life has to restart. Again.”
I had no words to console. And I don’t think she needed my words of consolation. Anyway. But hearing her spill everything. Was just too much. Here I was thinking about how I was not considered for a stupid promotion and here someone’s entire life was changed. Forever.
As an avid book reader we’ve become so used to thrilling page turners, when stories change within a paragraph. But when the same happens in real life, it’s just so hard to believe and digest.
Talking to her, I felt her hopelessness. And it’s the worst. Having been in a hollow relationship I could understand how devastating it feels. Her words “crushed”.
The only thing I could think about was: the more the person thinks about it, talks about it, blames oneself it sticks to you more.
As hard it is, you need to move away. I personally hate the term “move on”. Because in moving on some of things you’re moving on from clings on you as well. So it’s better to move far away from it. Don’t look back. Don’t consider it a memory. Yes you passed by that place but you don’t need to come back to it. Don’t. Don’t go back. Don’t revisit the horror.