But baby, I am a heart hacker !

So I was (still am, can’t help it) this girl who would really go out of the way.

No, really. Trust me, I would.

So anYways, so I was writing this piece for a friend (going again out of the way. ah) about technological advancement, and it reminded what a CHUCKER (please refer to  her  to know what that means) it is.

HONESTLY. Or maybe I’ve been chucked really bad by this mother chucking technology.

Techo in my palm, yo!

My first ex-(boy) friend told me  he wanted out  because his girlfriend was so very insecure of me (not exactly in those words as I would’ve very much liked). You would think he told this to me on my face, considering I was his best friend. But no, he took help of the then HIP mother-chucker. Yes yes he scrap-ed to me about it. And that was it. The end. Which is incidentally the first of the many occasions, I experienced how wussies men are. To think he used to CALL me to make fun about his the then girl-friend; couldn’t he like man up the courage to TELL ME that? If I had known to trust (or use) technology, I would’ve recorded these conversations and given to her as a Pre-Wedding Present. Yeah yeah, they ended up getting married and he made sure he never even accidentally run into me in school ever again. True Story.

Anyways, my other ex-(boy) friend (yeah well I had many. so shut up, dont jealous) told me how its “unsafe” to text since OH EM GEE texts can be traced (Like what the chuck?). How conveniently Nyways, long story short. He be a goner. I be a confuse(r).

My best friend from school told me she’s (yes, wow shocker, I made (girl) friends too) getting married over a text. WAAAAAA–TT. You’re supposed to CALL when you are about to release such BIG news. But no, text is K. K. K. K.

Yes, K. Eugh. IT’S A LETTER, NOT A WORD. TEXTS CONSIST OF WORDS, OR THEY WOULDN’T BE CALLED TEXTS; they’d be called ALPHABETS. NEVER SEND ME ALPHABETS. EVER.

My other best friend from school wouldn’t stop K-ing me. and yeah she forgot my birthday. Which just did it mostly. But yeah her excessive alphabet usage in text messages got annoying. I mean you WOULD want to hear a more real account of how her day went then just a “K”, no?

More on K later.

And most recently, a friend? umm …. told me she’s heading out to Australia with her husband later today.

Several reactions could’ve visited me:

  • OMG. No rukhsati??
  • OMG so soon?
  • Aww have a safe flight! Enjoy I’ll miss you!!!
  • OMG WAAA-T? I thought the wedding was in November, you said so!
But only one stamped in…
  • Err, I wrote approximately 100 papers for you during our time together.  I made a dozen presentations for you, so that you can have a nice time with your friends, family and later your to be hubby. I did your most (say atleast 99%) of your assignments while we were together, I helped in ALL of the quizzes whenever I could. I think I made you pass most of your exams, remember those late night/early morning crasher sessions? Yeah. I gave you those. I watched your back, heard all the nasty comments, still remained a loyal friend.  I never once stopped taking your side even when you stopped talking to me (all because I wrote a 12 page report all by myself-right). Even after that, I was always there, offering my help, all the bloody time.

What I ended up saying…

  • ?
I wish I face you some day so that I can say, Mrs. Hassan, you used me. But what amazes me is, the entire world knows about this news except me. All because I was born to be chucked by technology?
In all this while I wonder…what did I miss? Should I have done more? to all of them?

WHY. WHY so HARSHLY, though.

….to be continued..i have a gazillion articles to send to my Australian and Irish Buddies. Yes, now I make international friends. less painful.. at least I KNOW they cant face me, even if they want to.

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2 thoughts on “But baby, I am a heart hacker !

  1. “So anYways, so I was writing this piece for a friend (going again out of the way. ah)” wah, so u choose to trash me on your blog instead?! I used a quote. it wasn’t entirely a waste of your time. and srsly stop being a wuss. tell all this to my face. the real reason i didn’t tell u about my upcoming nuptials is that im scared i might have feelings for u. such strong feelings. feelings that might make me want to run away with u on my wedding day. what will papa do if that happens?! our familys honor?! their respect?! why, oh why are u so irresistible?! WHY?!!?!?!? 😦

    Like

    1. I would trash you there if you remove that stupid moderation thingy from there. Like WTF. what, do you actually BELIEVE people are reading your blog ? Stop living in a delusion that they’ll comment there. Please.
      Remove it. Its so lame.

      I thought you were going to run away with me on MY wedding day. OMG don’t change it now. YOU LIED. and you chose to tell me this on my BLOG.
      you live like five minutes away from me. tum tou sharam kero. aaker keh detay. coffee pilati. lasagna khilaati. 😦

      Like

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