A friend from about 10 years ago called to tell me of some news today.
I refused to listen to what it was . We were on rocky terms since the past two and a half years. And last year I gave up.
Why invest in a relationship that has only been a cause of pain and nothing else?
Why go down that road again knowing fine well they only need to hurt you a little more?
I’ve known her since my teenage years. I know how she works. People change yes, but they never lose their true self.
She was always selfish, always trying to show how she’s the best of them all.
I was her best friend, I encouraged it.
But now as adults how much more can you take of that attitude? of them taking you for granted.
I guess sometimes you give up, raise your hands, surrender and choose happiness, choose to leave them even at that little cost of companionship
Because NONE OF it at the end of the day is worth all that pain.
One year can change a lot.
This past year was an eye opener. Met a friend yesterday. We had only ever stayed in touch once a year. And I think the kind of person I am, this sort of commitment works well.
So exactly a year ago when we met she was full of life. Brimming with joy having been freshly engaged. It was all she would talk about: how amazing the guy was, how amazing the family was, how he takes care of everything, adores her the most in the world.
A year was all it took to change that.
Yesterday she revealed that her relationship has ended. It was all a farce. The family turned out to be extremely weird and it was in her best interest that they ended things.
I can’t help but recall the words she said to me “I’m back to square one. It’s like none of that ever happened. I have to rebuild from scratch. My life has to restart. Again.”
I had no words to console. And I don’t think she needed my words of consolation. Anyway. But hearing her spill everything. Was just too much. Here I was thinking about how I was not considered for a stupid promotion and here someone’s entire life was changed. Forever.
As an avid book reader we’ve become so used to thrilling page turners, when stories change within a paragraph. But when the same happens in real life, it’s just so hard to believe and digest.
Talking to her, I felt her hopelessness. And it’s the worst. Having been in a hollow relationship I could understand how devastating it feels. Her words “crushed”.
The only thing I could think about was: the more the person thinks about it, talks about it, blames oneself it sticks to you more.
As hard it is, you need to move away. I personally hate the term “move on”. Because in moving on some of things you’re moving on from clings on you as well. So it’s better to move far away from it. Don’t look back. Don’t consider it a memory. Yes you passed by that place but you don’t need to come back to it. Don’t. Don’t go back. Don’t revisit the horror.
I have.. and it kills me everyday!!
I want to tell her. but i can’t. I know if she would find out, she would hate me forever and that would kill me.
Once long ago my best friend told me that some people create false memories so that they can forget the real ones. At that time I thought, how awful must someone’s life be that they wish to create false memories to take over the real ones. Years later I can identify. I didnt create false memories to forget this particular friend. I did however made new memories, fresh, real.
These memories helped take over those in the past, because however amazing the time I spent with this friend in the past, it caused me pain. How weird no?
How can good times cause you pain?
What I have learned is don’t let the past haunt you.
Don’t stop moving.
Don’t try to get the past back.
Don’t let them think they were the best thing that happened to you, because life is full of surprises. You don’t know who you might meet, that would actually would give you the greatest memories of your life, ones that are everlasting, ones that you will never ever want to forget. Ever.